Anything + Whatever

2006-09-28T21:15:00.000+12:00

Common Friends

I am very much a single guy at the moment, some of my readers know, some may not, some may not care!

I used to be in a serious relationship a couple of years ago. The key words being "USED TO". I enjoy being single and wonder why, I ever was in a relationship. Did have its' good times and not so good times.

One major problem with relatioship is common friends. Your friends become her friends and hers become yours. The problem starts when you breakup. Some of these common friends now, are stuck in the middle. No reason to choose one over the other, but still, some prefer to do so.

One friend in particular that I was close to is closer to my ex at the moment. I have no issues with it, what so ever. Another fact that I have to throw into the equation is that my ex is geting married end of next month. Happy for her that she has moved onn and is having a happy life.

We do stay in touch, but I keep away as much as I can! I say hi & bye when I run into her in town, but make no effort otherwise! No surprises there!!! I'm the sort of guy who dosn't want to offend anyone!

I'm not sure how to make her understand (my ex) that i've moved onn
and though we might be friends, we can't be like "normal" friends! That dosn't stop her from moaning every time we happen to meet that I am avoiding her! ofcourse I am, what did you expect?

But here is the craziest thing!

This commin friend, who is doing most of the organising for my exs' wedding, just asked me if I could driving my ex & her new husband to their hotel suite on their wedding nite!

I've never been so insulted or fucked off ever, never like this. There is insult & then INSULT!!! Talk about kicking below the belt

Understandably common friends are confused about where they stand! Another thing that I have to mention is, all her friends r very good friends of mine, but not to her! She always held a belief that all her friends should make the effort of contacting her, ofcourse we all know how annoying that can be! As a flow onn effect- she has very few friends, if any!!!

Sounds like a bitch session, I know! But I was sooo fucking mad at my friend, for the first time in my life, I gave her a piece of my mind. I've never been more rude to anyone else, at least I don't think so. Reminder to self - apologise!!!

Have you ever been in such a situation or had to deal with a "common friend"? Perhaps you have a suggestion for me. Anyone?

2006-09-15T15:54:00.000+12:00

In House Therapist

Its amazing how a small thing can be soo theraputic.

What you see above, is infact, yes, the very same Shrek that many people seem to "fear" in the movie, who we all end up adoring!

He has his own spot on my couch, as you can see, he usually sits where he is rite now.

Shrek was given to me as a gift from a very good friend of mine.

I am amazed at how many people find comfort in Shrek. Soo much so, that when friends and family come home to visit, they take shrek in their arms and give him a cuddle. Trust me, he feels real.

I have had soo many friends tell me about their problems after they have been holding Shrek for a while. Everyone seem to find him soo comforting and relaxing. A bit like unconditional love, not expecting anything in return but just be comforting and return a big warm smile. Simple statement, but soo hard to follow!!!

I am not going to write what my friends say to me, but I though I would take a bit of my time and dedicate this post to my beloved Shrek, the day saver for many.. including me.

We all love you Shrek, you are special :-)

2006-08-24T14:50:00.000+12:00

Tech-ED

For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a conference organised by Microsoft. Happens every year all over the world. Once in New Zealand (sold out). I was surprised to hear, that India has the most number of Tech Ed conferences in the world.. six per year and all of em sold out :-)

I was there this week and it was fun. As geeky as it seems and sounds, I did enjoy most of the presentations and upcomming "stuff" in IT. Some sound promising, enough to make my job easier, some.. just really kool... :-)

But i'm sure you are not interested in all the geekey stuff...

Part of tech ed is Tech Feast... the best part of it :-)

Had truck loads of food and alcohol was pouring out of the sky.. Nathan Haines, a well renouned Jazzist was performing live... and HE IS GOOD.. (guitar, Sax, Clarinet, flute.. you name it) and then there was the solo performance by our very own Sujatha Giri... daym she was good... just a guitar and her... she is real good.. im proud to be an India... and she just made me feel even better :-). Then there were commedians, president Gas.. and then last but not the least... featuring.. The Feelers... yeah baby... Feelers

Feelers Rock... I was in the "mosh pit".. and it felt good... I don't drink.. but all my mates were drunk.. but this was (recently) the most fun I have had with my pants onn... loved their performance and their songs...

If you ever get a chance don't miss it... looking forward to more fun in the comming months

2006-08-18T10:22:00.000+12:00

More Weird Dreams !!!

Some of you know that my background is in the IT field. I do part time work co-ordinating (Audio & Visual) for GP (General Practitioner) meetings once a fortnite. I did this last nite, and almost 99% of the time, the auditorium is full of qualified GP's and Specialist Consultants (except for me ofcourse). Last nights topic was about Training and assessments for inters.

Towards the end, during question time, I asked my first question. I asked a highly regarded Paediatric Consultant, if Medical training had the concept of "adaptive assessment", instead of just the standard.. ".. here are 100 questions, and answer them all" kind of assessment.

Unbeknown to me, this question stumped him!!!

I rescued him by explaining what an adaptive assessment was and a fellow
consultant answered the rest.

The consultant thanked me for making him aware of this assesment
technique later. Which I though was nice of him (mostly for not wanting to smack my head in!!!).

It wasn't my plan to stump him, but I was kinda surprised. But that is not the point of this rambling.

I dreamt about it last nite and apparently I won an award for asking that question. But I couldn't understand why I got a plate of "Lasagne" as the award!!! I'm still wondering.

When I was in School in India, I had to walk through a remote road which cut through a forest. I dream last nite that I was walking through that road again. Half way through, there were five Lions sitting in a line. One lion says.." Jeez, i'm thirsty, gimme some water.." Without thinking this is weird, I pick up a plastic glass on the floor and go to a sink near by (where did that come from??) fill up the glass and pour the water into the lions mouth, one at a time. All of them, except for one lion walk away. The last one jumps and I splash some water on its mane. Then is says.. "Jesus, now I am going to smell like a wet cat"... (imagine that in a Simba / Lion King kinda voice) and runs away. I think this is freking hillarious and start laughting (wet cat.. get it?) and then I woke up laughing!!!

I wrote this dream down on a notepad the very minute I woke up laughing.. I tend to forget about them when I wake up... it still is funny.... don't you think?

2006-08-02T15:44:00.000+12:00

!!! Weirdest thing ever !!!

I had one of the weirdest event I have ever had happen to me, lastnite.

I found myself sleeping next to my ex-girlfriend and I woke up just in time for her boyfriend to walk in. I was blurry as to how I got there. I know that is the only place I didn't want to be in. I am very much over my ex, but still, I panicked.. have I done something... what do I tell him... why am I sleeping next to her... wish I could just dissapear... wish the bed would swollow me up and all of this just go away.

The next thing I know, I was sweating and strugling to breath. I prayed for a miracle. My prayers were answered instantly!!! I woke up. Thank you GOD for making it just a dream. Took me a long time to realise that it was only a dream and thank GOD it wasn't reality. Never been so glad that this was just a dream. It is almost always the other way around.

I still feel gald that it was a dream, as scary as it was!!!!!

2006-07-29T16:10:00.000+12:00

Random Thoughts

I make no apologies for the lack of continuity in this blog!!! Hence the title, Random thoughts...

The other day, I was looking at a painting, and it looked average at best, even by my standards, which is not very high BTW. It had the title, "Memories are made to fade..." And it made me think... is it? Are memories really made to fade? I don't think so..

Life, you and I live, should be measured by moments rather than milestones. If memories are made to fade, where is the meaning of our lives?

We are not always fortunate to spend time with out friends, family and loved ones. If it isn't for memories, they will be no different to strangers..

On another random note...

I think I'm incredibly lucky. No, I know that I'm incredibly lucky.

In what aspect you may ask... In all aspects I say...

I wasn't the brightest spark when I was in school, I was good at everything else but studies... Which is the whole point of school.. I understand now... But not then.

There are lots of little incidents that make me feel glad that I am, who I am and what I am.

It was purely by chance that I happen to live in such a wonderful country, New Zealand. If it wasn't for my sibling, I might not have ended up here. Might have been the standard, US of A or may be even in India. Not that it would have been a bad thing, but still..In NZ, I have been presented with soo many opportunities and met soo many wonderful people, I can't imagine my life being anything else..

I am not overly religious, but I do say a silent prayer to keep all my friends and family safe, everyday. I count my lucky stars all the time. I think of my friends and family as lucky stars as well...

I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it means a lot to me.

Everyone has heard of the line.. Absence makes the heart go fonder... Or something like that. When we are away from our loved ones, sometimes, it is easy to be too occupied with our own lives and not give anyone else a though. I know, cause I was like that. I am finding myself missing all my friends and family more and more. Not that we don't keep in touch or anything.. But I just do.

I believe it is by luck and not fate (if there is such a thing) that you meet certain people, who leave you wondering why they have such a profound effect on your life. Everyone who come into your life, do so, for a reason. They are meant to teach you certain things, even if it the lesson is to learn how to hate someone!!!

I used to be broke a LOT, and I mean a lot... When I was a student. I didn't have the capacity to borrow any money as I had nothing of value that my bank wanted. Sometimes, all I had was a single Dollar in my pocket (and nothing in my bank account). Home was an hours walk away and the dollar was not enough for the bus fare. It was either I buy sweet to munch on and walk or take a gamble and buy a $1.00 lotto ticket (scratch). When ever I have been in this situation, I have always won $2.00, enough for a bus fare. It has never let me down. I never win when I have money and try it. With the danger of sounding like "DR. Phil", this only confirms my "belief" that when you really really need something, someone or something will come to your aid, you just need to believe.

By telling you this, I hope I bring "luck" into your life and I believe that by sharing my luck with you, I can only get luckier :-D

On the other hand, I wonder if the people in my life have anything to do with the "luck", I have in my life.. may be.. maybe not.. but I think so.

SO... are you feeling lucky yet?

2006-07-06T10:13:00.000+12:00

Arranged marriage.. Continued

I finally have the venue booked for my wedding.. YEAY!!! Venues are hard to come by in my place. For those who don't know me, I'm from OOTY in the Blue mountains, Nilgiris, Tamilnadu, India. AKA, Queen of the Hill Stations.

OOTY

February is a popular time to get married. I am not sure when in Feb it is going to be. An "ayyar" or in other words, a priest, is sussing out an auspicious day for me in Feb. The invite list is ready. The guests, not including immediate and extended family, is about 600. We are deciding on the lunch menu and the format and the style of my wedding invitation card. I know it is still a little while away.. but planning is good.. rite?

Apparently in India an NRI (Non Resident of India) wedding is a thing to look forward to. We earn in foreign currency and we spend heaps for the wedding (exchange rate is to die for). Some high flyers spend in the range of hundreds of thousands of US dollars. So you can imagine a wedding card embroided with real gold threads and a feast suitable for the Queen herself and not to mention hiring out half the town for your wedding. Mine is no where close to that... but better than most.

I have organised my leave for two months (Feb and march) booked my flights and am looking forward to it.

I used to be dead against arranged marriage. But I have come to realise that there are only a few instances in life, when the siblings can make their parents happy. One of them is a wedding to their taste (or taking their taste into consideration) and ofcourse a girl to their liking. Most other times, we are just a pain in the rear for our parents. We cost them money, heart ache and what not. Ever since I agreed for an arranged marriage, my relationship with my parents have been the best I can ever remember. I am pretty happy about it, but sad at the same time that it has to come to this to have such a good relationship. Never the less, it is all for a good cause.

I am not sure how to explain the way I am feeling. This feeling of getting married and to a total stranger at that (atleast for now) is like knowing that you are going to win a grand prize soon. But you don't know what the prize is or if you will end up appreciating it and liking it for what it is. Given that the prize does not come with a gift exchange card, I am willing to make compromises and change if need be and hope for the best. I am very excited and almost impatient. I am ready to settle down and share my life with a certain someone.

I will keep this blog rolling and updated as things happen, so look forward to interesting updates. keep comming back for more and I really do appreciate your comments.

One thing I forgot to mention, everything has been organised, excpet, no one knows who the "wife to be" is.

OH! that' s rite, i'm yet to find that certain some one to marry. Stop laughing!!!

Interesting how things work, everything is organised except for the main characters... :P

2006-06-16T10:43:00.000+12:00

Thump Thump Thump

Hi everyone, I know I have been slack and havn't put up any posts recently. I keep having other commitments and just never got around to do it. Now is better than never :-)

Did you have a thought or a feeling that you needed to say hi to someone you care about. Perhaps to a friend, a lover, your parents or even a pen pal?

Now is a good time. Say it before you regret not doing it. If you wanna say "I Miss you" or "I love you", say it now and don't hesitate. So what if the other person dosn't return it?

I was working late yesterday. I normally finish at around 5pm. It was around 6pm Thursday nite and I was doing some documentation and process mapping. Not the most exciting stuff to be doing when i'd rather be somewhere else doing stuff I enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I luv my job, but just some parts of it :-)

I have my head phones on all the time (Though I have my own office) listening to music and doing my "stuff". At around 6pm I heard a helicopter fly past. (I work in a big hospital with a very busy Emergency Department). I knew from the sound of the rotor blades that it was a rescue helicopter. This one has a distinctive "thump" and when you have heard it a million times, you just know. I thought to myself, some bastard seriously screwed up!!! I never gave it another though and finished up at around 7pm and went home. I ride a scooter, so no radio or anything.

I came back to work the following day and went on my merry way doing my work. Another collegue of mine, came into my office and asked me if I knew what happened last nite!!! Not thinking much of it, I said, I had no idea. Then he mentioned about an accident and how one of the lady working for payroll (same building as mine) died in a car crash at 6 the previous nite. I knew this lady and she was a friend of mine. Then it struck me, the poor basterd on the helicopter the previous nite was none other that my friend herself.

I will call her Debbie (not her real name)

Debbie was a grumpy lady, until you got to know her, she was fun to be with. She is an old lady, but very funny. She had a love for rally cars, her son is a rally driver and races Subarus'. I'm expecting to run into her this afternoon. I always see her at the cafeteria at lunch. He face is in front of my eyes. Can't help the sinking feeling, but I realise that I will never see her ever again.

Apparently she drove straight into a truck.. her ribcage collapsed and crushed her lungs and her heart. She died almost instantly, so they say.

So, if there is anything that we should learn from such experiences, don't take anyone for granted. Especially not the ones you want to remember in your life. I've told you so in my earlier post, but im just stressing its importance here.

2006-05-26T10:02:00.000+12:00

Steroids

I am not a very big guy. No, I am not talking about "that".. but I am talking about my whole appearance.. some may actually call me skinny. I am a fitness freak... almost. I play squash about 4 times a week... go to the gym about 4 to 5 times a week.. do moutain biking most weekends. I have a really good physique. But with my clothes on, I kinda look skinny. I take my protein shakes and maintain a really good diet.. still.. not much help.

I have been hearing a lot about steroids.. anabolic steroids. why not look a bit bigger.. what the hell.. I don't want to look like a body builder, but just want to get a bit bigger... so I did my internet research on the effects and side effects on the same..

The outcome looks pretty promising, but here is the catch.. some of the the side effects.. listed below
1. Acne
2. Aggression
3. Anaphylactic Shock
4. Birth Defects
5. Blood Clotting Changes
6. Cancer
7. Cardiovascular Disease
8. Depression
9. Gynecomastia (no thanx)
10. Hair loss
11. Headaches
12. High Blood Pressure/Hypertension
13. Immune System Changes
14. Kidney Stress/Damage
15. Liver Stress/Damage
16. Prostate Enlargement
17. Sexual Dysfunction (!!!!)
18. Stunted Growth
19. Testicular Atrophy
20. Water and Salt Retention
21. Virilization

etc..etc..

And here I was under the impression that Anabolic steroids were going to help me...

I'd rather be skinnyish and have great fitness and perform well (in all aspects ;-D)than to look big and nothing much else!!!!

So.. THANKS but NO THANKS to steroids

2006-05-11T11:59:00.000+12:00

The Incredible Mind

I had a dream, a very nice dream last nite. I don't dream very often, so this was special. Hear me out....

Picture this:
It is a sunny evening, warm with a gentle breeze from the sea.
There are two beautiful girls, sitting on a ledge, formed on a big boulder, by the beach. One is wearing a black dress with white flowers on it (lets call her Ms. A). The other (Ms. B) is wearing a dark green skirt. They are arguing about something. I get closer, so I can hear what they are saying (it is a dream ok!!! I have no control over what happens). Ms. A is arguing pro boulder, the beauty of it, the way it feels and how strong it is etc. etc.. Ms. B ofcourse is saying how ugly and dirty it is.

Ms. A, who sees me listening to them, calls me over for an opinion. She takes my hand and runs it along the rock and asks me how it feels. It feels good, electric shock runs through my body and my hair stands on its end. Then she wants to compare it to something and the she kisses me.. a long sensual kiss... and it gives me the same feeling...then the stupid alarm went off and my dream was a goner!!!!

The thing is, when I woke up.. my hair.. really was on its end and I could still feel the kiss.. the taste.. and how my hand felt when it was rubbed on the rock. Even talking about it, I can feel the sensation in my hand. Meaning, I can recreate the feeling by thinking about it.

If you want to know how it feels, find a huge rough rock.. or a wall spray painted with small pebbles and run your palm along in one smooth and continuous movement

I also have a weird habbit.. well I have lots, but one in particular I want to share. Everytime I come across a new battery.. Particularly AA batteries, I stick my tongue on the +ve terminal. This sends a small but nice sensation through my tongue and it makes my mouth water (try it). The interesting things is, everytime I look at a battery now, I can recreate the feeling in my mouth.

I wish I could recreate these "feelings" with a lot of other things (**hint hint**).

We know that the brain is a brilliant thing. It almost (almost) begs for me to be a brainologist (:-p). But like some readers here who have the memory of a goldfish, I have the attention span of the same. So I already know that I ain't going to be a brainologist.

My "scientific" conclusion, based on testing done on a random sample of ONE (myself), is that the brain learns through association (DUH!!!). Yet I still haven't figured out... how to make my brain learn a new and different sensation and recall it. It just seems to want to learn what it wants to.

Any ideas?

2006-04-30T12:10:00.000+12:00

Be Nice...

How many times have you had to be "nice" to someone? I bet you lost count a very long time ago.

Most of us, having good parents, have been taught to be nice to other people. Not withstanding how stressfull it is to be nice to people when you couldn't be bothered, it is also very draining, both emotionally and physically.

Some get over this phase and give it to you straight, ofcourse, the drawback, is that you come across as a either a total bitch or a dick. Being abruptly honest is perceived by most, as being rude and unpolite.

Every one has friends, some you can be totally comfortable with and be yourself and others who are those "hi.. bye" types, who you play nice with. If I had everything my way.. i'd rather not have the latter.

Sometimes you are nice to people, just cause you don't know how else to be with them. I myself have (and had) friends who are nice to me. I know when they are trying to be so. For all those people out there, who are just nice for the sake of it... i'd rather you be honest with your friends and give it to them straight. When they annoy you, say so... when they ask you something and you don't want to answer that question, don't try and be nice.. by avoiding that question. Id rather you told me to get stuffed.

I don't know about you, but i'd rather have just one true friends, than to have truck loads of "so called" friends.

So, I take this opportunity to ask you all for a favour. Just to make your life and your friends life less stressfull.. next time you come across a situation where you have to play "nice"... think for a moment, reflect on the situation and just be yourself. You know those moments where you mutter under your breath, asking some one to F off or say.. "MYOB".. well tell them that.. if they value your friendship.. they won't take it the wrong way.

So for all those who are playing "nice" with ME.. be honest.. be yourself.. be a "MAN".. put me in my place and i'd be greatfull. But if you truly are YOU with ME.. my respect for you.. just went up.. another knotch...

Do youself a favour... and the rest of us :P

2006-04-26T16:00:00.000+12:00

Changing Rooms

Unlike my other posts.. this one is a bit different... just a small bitch session..

Everyone knows what a changing room is. No, it is not some fancy TV show. I am talking about rooms commonly found in a swimming complex, Gym etc.. I guess you can also call it, "the locker" room.

Yeah, so what about it you... you ask..

I HATE CHANGING ROOMS.

Don't know what it is like inside a ladies changing room, but I have to say... I don't like to use changing rooms. I get out of there as quick as possible.

I go to the gym almost everyday and it is an ordeal for me to use the changing rooms.. why... here is why...

Everytime I go in there... there is almost always a bald, fat toad, shaped like a barrel, with a sleazy look on his face.. walking around naked. For fuck sake, do you have to use a hair dryer on that bald head of yours with one hand, scratching your arse with the other, standing in front of the full length mirror.. NAKED.

Yesterday, the room was quiet. Was a public holiday in the land of the long white cloud (ANZAC day). All the lockers are lined up in rows, facing each other with space to change inbetween. Of all the places, the above mentioned freak, had to stand in front of me to change... and for some reason.. he had the urge to bend down in front and stay that way for what felt like eternity. Oh and BTW Did I mention he had stripped.. and was totally naked... YUCK.

May be it is because I was bought up in a conservative setting, I am just not used to walking around naked in front of other guys (don't think I ever will). I am not ashamed of my body in ANY way. I though it was an achievement when I could stand in front of others only with the bare essentials, i.e. undies.. naked.. No way... not in a million years.

SO, for all of you balding barrels who are looking for a good time in a locker room..for crying out loud, PLEASE coverup.. and NO, I am not interested in looking at your droopy arse.. or your half inch penis or how many folds you have on your tummy or how you look like when you try and reach for your toes without bending at your knees!!!!!!!

Is it just me, or does this happen to everyone?

You may ask, "why the fuck do you still use it"?... well I have to.. have to use it to take a shower before I get to work from the gym... I might get weird looks if I get to work after a workout, without taking a shower...

Any comments?

2006-04-07T12:30:00.000+12:00

Treasures.

We all have friends, family and colleagues. Some we love, some we fall in love with and some we just get along with.

Then there are people, who you think of all the time, but can't stand the thought of at other times. (may be I am just weird!!!)

We often shower people we love and with a lot more attention, when we know they are going to go away, be it temporary or permanently. My question is, why does it have to be that way, before we give them the extra attention.

Take, for example, our own parents. We are accustomed to be with them, since our birth. It never crosses our minds, that they are not going to be with us forever. We almost take them for granted that they are always going to be with us, cause they have been with us all this while.

The reality is, they will be gone some day and will never return. Nothing is every going to prepare us for the inevitable. Instead of leaving it to the last minute, why not give them the extra attention now, show the extra bit of love.. Now.

I am not just talking about our parents, I am talking about friends, our partners, lovers, wives, husbands, boy friends, girlfriends... Whoever.. It is an undeniable fact, that we take some, at some stage in life, for granted. When the very thing that means a lot to us is taken, we then realise what we stood to loose, a bit too late ofcourse.

My point, don't get too hung up on the future and miss what you have in front of you. What might have been is a nice though, but what might have been, is never gonna be. GET OVER IT. Show that little bit extra respect and love and you have nothing to lose.

Treasure your friends, cause they are the siblings that our parents couldn't give us. Treasure your family, cause they help define you. Treasure your life, cause there is always more to life that what we know or think or feel is important. This is exactly why, I think of all my friends, as Treasures and keep them that way.

To all my friends and family, I love you.

2006-04-03T11:21:00.000+12:00

Is it Fate or Faith?

I am not going to start this blogg, by quoting an obscure statement, written by some one who no one seems to know or care about, instead ask a question. A simple one at that.

What is your Star sign?

Almost everyone knows what star sign they are and can relate to. There are thousands and thousands of website, books and articles which give you untold amounts of information regarding this and I somehow don't think I am qualified to debate about the signs.

However, I have a concern that I would like to share with you all.

I am an Arien, and I can relate well to the traits that my star sign says that I should have. I have no arguments there. Likewise, I am sure you find yourself fit to your star sign. So far, so good.

My concern is, when people seem to think that star sign and horoscopes are one and the same. handsup, those who religiously read their daily horoscope!!!

I was talking to a lady friend of mine a few days ago. She is having trouble with her married life and all the emotions that she is going through and wanted to talk to someone and of all people she choose me to confide in. I am flattered, but I am not the most qualified there either.. But I do what I can and what I am good at, listen. It is during a phase in this conversation (which lasted more than 2 hrs should I add) she mentioned, that her husband was telling her things, like how she is going to suffer and that her horoscope says that she will lead a miserable life if she leaves him and that she is really worried about that!!! Now what kind of bollocks is that.

I honestly think that horoscopes are a joke. I think what really happens, is, when we read our horoscope and if it says that you are going to have a happy day, you subconsciously set about doing things that make you happy. The same applies to the opposite as well. Horoscopes just play on our insecurities. We make things happens only cause it says so.. Which leads us to believe that horoscopes must be for real and follow it religiously.

It took me a lot of effort to convince her that horoscopes have nothing to do with what you are doing and that YOU make or break your own life. I find it silly for people to have blind faith in such things and it annoys me no end!!!!!

We need to have faith in ourselves if we are to make something of our lives and not leave everything to fate, if there is such a thing. We do what we can, and nature takes it course. We cannot control everything, we can only try to do the rite thing and in the best way we know how.

What ya reckon????

2006-03-27T08:56:00.000+12:00

♂ = ♀ Arranged Marriage...(Cont....)

UPDATE:

We can all agree to a certain extent, that I am educated. Not as much as some who might be reading this blogg.. but i'm educated (please don't ask for proof). I might not be able to write down all the alphabets in the english language behind my name, but I can write a few.

As a matter of fact, it makes me proud that I have friends who are soo well educated. It gives me a sense of admiration, for the amount of hard work you guys put in and the determination and drive you have to suceed, be it in life or to find a cure for Cancer or both. It makes me jelous that you guys are doing soo much, but it does not, in anyway make me feel inferior to you. We are all friends and education or academic qualifications has nothing to do with it.

I spoke with my relatives back home yesterday. They said that they have "picked" out a couple of girls for me to consider. All good so far. But they hesitated to give me details about this "other" girl. Reason, apparently she has completed her Degree in Engineering and her MBA. This, they feel would make me insecure about myself. They almost don't want to even consider her or even want me to consider her, cause she has a higher qualification. They feel, that if she were to come here, she might have a better career or even earn more than I do... I say, so what? Good for her. It will only make me feel better about her. As a matter of fact, I would love for my parter to have a brillian career.

If my partner or wife were to be better qualified, I have absolutely no problem with that. It would only make me proud. I would be the least bit intimidated because of that.

My question here is, in the 21st century, when soo many are doing soo many things... why is it that they still feel, the "Man" of the house, should be "better" than the wife? I have always held the principle of, "Treat other's, like you would have have them, treat you".

For whatever reason, if my partner were to feel superior than I am, well then that is something I have no control over.. but I can only hope, that if it comes to that.. I can talk some sense into her.

Since my "Fan Club" is made up of two females.. I would love your opinion on this matter. What do you think of this?

Momok

2006-03-24T10:09:00.000+12:00

Letting go!!!

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was minding my own business and living my life. My life is hardly complicated. I (think) know what I want in my life, I know who and what my priorities are. I had many friends, parties, hanging out at pubs and clubs, late at night with more friends.. Dancing and drinking. My ever so simple life, existed. After that not so long ago time, a girl came into my life. We were just friends, and did what friends normally do. Catch up for coffee, or a meal perhaps and the occasional e-mail to say hi.

Every once in a while, I would think of her and smile to myself. I would say to myself, she is pretty kool. There was nothing more to it. As the days went by, I found myself thinking of her, more and more. It came to a point where I would surprise myself, day dreaming about her in the middle of a meeting. Ofcourse, it didn't help in the mean time that we actually started hanging out more. It was totally innocent, phone calls and txt's were frequent, perhaps something that I can blame myself for, again. Mind you, all this happened in a very short span of time. There was this one stage, where I almost spent five evenings in a row with her.. Still keeping it innocent and just enjoying ourselves, hanging out with each other and having a rather good time enjoying each others company. We completely trusted each other.

At this point, I found myself, not wanting to look at other girls or just wanting to call just this girl for no reason. I though that this was very strange, cause, honestly, I am not the sort to give up an opportunity to have a quick glance at a pretty girl (sad, but true). I found myself not wanting to do anything else but to want to talk to her and just hang out with her, all the time.

Then and only then did it hit me like a sauce pan taken to your head, that perhaps, I was actually falling for this girl. I realised that nothing good would come off this, apart from a number of reasons, she was not to be close by for long. They say love is blind, I say it makes you stupid beyond comprehension as well.

I pushed it so far to a point where I almost lost her as a friend. Now that, I could not live with. My intentions were good, but it came out, in the worst possible way. I decided, that I was not willing to lose a lovely person in my life, just cause I could not see past my own nose. I made up my mind, that I would like to have her in my life as a friend, if not anything else.

We set aside our differences in opinion and thoughts and we put our friendship back on track. We are pretty good friends now, atleast I would like to think of it so. Afterall, how long can you expect to stare at a shooting star? That is what she was, in my life.

My point is, when two worlds collide, there are things that happen, unintentionally, that can lead to irreversible consequences. All I can say is, WATCHOUT, unless, ofcourse that is what you want to happen!!!

Sometimes, you have to let go of the person you love, in order for them to come back into your life. If they don't, then they were never meant to be.

My question is, How do you let go of something, that means so much to you? It makes you no saint by any measure, but only you know, how hard it is, to do so. This, is part of life, we need to sacrifice certain things, to retains others and perhaps we can learn a thing or two from this, about life in general.

2006-03-23T08:13:00.000+12:00

Arranged Marriage, an Indians' Dilemma

A road less traveled

Everyone can identify with the phrase, "A Road less traveled". The key word being "Less". But what if you are faced with a road that you have never set foot on before and there is no turning back, no second chances, no second guessing none whatsoever.

Laugh all you want, but statistically, an arranged marriage has a higher success rate than love marriage. Then there is always, lies, damn lies and statistics...

I would like to think of myself as being fairly modern, cultured, possibly metro-sexual, educated with a good career and a better future. I have lived away from India for more than 10 years. Migrated to NZ when I was 16. My outlook on life has been tampered with in my years here, for the better I should say. I have been responsible enough to put myself through good education, a really good job and upskilling myself with no parental help. I have done pretty good so far...

Now, I am faced with the situation of either a love marriage with all ties broken to all of my family I have know all my life, including my parents or an arranged marriage with a "happily every after" life with my family. Those who are in a similar culture, should know all about the pressures of hooking up with the "same type" of the opposite sex.

Unless you are faced with a situation like this, you will never actually know the weight the above para carries and all the emotions that go with it.

Indians, as a close knit culture, are bought up with certain values, drilled into us from the beginning. I feel at times, that all I will ever want is someone who I can share my life with and make her my sole purpose in life and to hell with family. But then, there are these deep sub-conscious emotions that stop you from doing so.

I am in the process of being "hooked-up" with a suitable candidate back in India and I feel helpless to do anything about it. There are aspects that I like about it and then there are things, that make me wonder. It makes me wonder if I am making a mistake, is this a good idea.. What if I can't fall in love with my wife? Too many what ifs.. Too many unanswered questions.. Can I possibly live with someone I don't love.. I know the answer to that...

You wanna know something really sad, they haven't found a suitable girl for me, but have almost fixed a date for my wedding. Now there is something wrong with this arrangement

I am dying to get out of this chain and I can think of a girl, I would love to propose to, I already know the answer, I think.. But I want the freedom to be able to express myself and just be myself. A lot of you will take this, for granted, wish I had that pleasure to do the same.

I intend to keep this blog updated with my (in)experience of an arranged married. Perhaps, there is a thing or two that you can learn and appreciate from this and may be even help you with your (in)decision.

Until I have more

Momok

EDIT

I found an interesting link, that portrays a different picture and perhaps it is not all downhill..afterall

Click here