Be Nice...
How many times have you had to be "nice" to someone? I bet you lost count a very long time ago.
Most of us, having good parents, have been taught to be nice to other people. Not withstanding how stressfull it is to be nice to people when you couldn't be bothered, it is also very draining, both emotionally and physically.
Some get over this phase and give it to you straight, ofcourse, the drawback, is that you come across as a either a total bitch or a dick. Being abruptly honest is perceived by most, as being rude and unpolite.
Every one has friends, some you can be totally comfortable with and be yourself and others who are those "hi.. bye" types, who you play nice with. If I had everything my way.. i'd rather not have the latter.
Sometimes you are nice to people, just cause you don't know how else to be with them. I myself have (and had) friends who are nice to me. I know when they are trying to be so. For all those people out there, who are just nice for the sake of it... i'd rather you be honest with your friends and give it to them straight. When they annoy you, say so... when they ask you something and you don't want to answer that question, don't try and be nice.. by avoiding that question. Id rather you told me to get stuffed.
I don't know about you, but i'd rather have just one true friends, than to have truck loads of "so called" friends.
So, I take this opportunity to ask you all for a favour. Just to make your life and your friends life less stressfull.. next time you come across a situation where you have to play "nice"... think for a moment, reflect on the situation and just be yourself. You know those moments where you mutter under your breath, asking some one to F off or say.. "MYOB".. well tell them that.. if they value your friendship.. they won't take it the wrong way.
So for all those who are playing "nice" with ME.. be honest.. be yourself.. be a "MAN".. put me in my place and i'd be greatfull. But if you truly are YOU with ME.. my respect for you.. just went up.. another knotch...
Do youself a favour... and the rest of us :P
posted by momok @ 12:10 PM
10 Comments:
I've never been one to have a large group of friends.All my life I've had a small, tight group of friends, some of whome I've known since I was quite little and that's all I've needed. I can firmly say, I dont have the hi/bye types and those who I spend time with but dont like too much/cant trust but pretend to be best mates with. I do hang out with them out of sheer necessasity sometimes, but I woudnt call them friends. My real friends are few, but the type I can trust with anything :)
As for the being "nice" thing, I'm someone who cant say "no". I know, you're thinking PUSHOVER...probably true to some extent and can be too altruistic than what is good for me.
Hey Venus, agree with you that some "friends" rise out of necessity and I am glad that we are on the same wave length.
When you find friends that you can trust and just be yourself, realise it and hand onn to it, I do :)
Being a "PUSHOVER" can be one of the most stressfull things that you (me or anyone) has to go through.. as simple as it sounds, I understand, when you say, you just can't say "no".
I think you must have figured out by now that I am painfully honest to the point of rudeness; hence I have a lot of people I can't stand, and very few people who can actually put up with my crap. But those few friends are possibly going to last for a long long while yet, and I do not see any misunderstandings or petty issues getting in the way.
I do however have to be nice to random jerks I have the misfortune to be associated with. Most of the time that consists of me trying to be civil and praying they don't catch on! But I'm sure even to them, it's pretty obvious I am just being civil.
Makes life quite a bit simpler!
I think you're a naturally nice person, momok, that's what I thought after meeting you just that once, reason being - you thought Venus should have been grateful for that can of tuna. Thanks to you being nice and on my side she took it home and ate it and even thanked me for it one day when she was famished and had nothing else to eat.
I know what you're saying, I often feel the same way - sometimes I have to try to be nice and patient with people who really get on my nerves but... I think I'm gonna try your approach soon, I might get less pissed off everyday and live longer.
Hi Hannah, thank you very much. Very nice of you :-). You must be a very nice person too, if not you wouldn't be Venuss' friend in turn mine ;-)
Lemme know how you get on with being painfully honest.. you will only weed out the fake friends and keep the true ones. Good luck
Oh I'm finding it hard Momok, I just hate offending people you know... anyway how are you getting on? What are u up to these days? Busy busy?
this is true. Hannah, you are faaar too nice to people
A perfect altruistic.. is probably the way for a perfect stressfull life.. go figure :-(
Look after yourself first... selfish.. I know. but who else will!!!
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