Arranged Marriage, an Indians' Dilemma

A road less traveled

Everyone can identify with the phrase, "A Road less traveled". The key word being "Less". But what if you are faced with a road that you have never set foot on before and there is no turning back, no second chances, no second guessing none whatsoever.

Laugh all you want, but statistically, an arranged marriage has a higher success rate than love marriage. Then there is always, lies, damn lies and statistics...

I would like to think of myself as being fairly modern, cultured, possibly metro-sexual, educated with a good career and a better future. I have lived away from India for more than 10 years. Migrated to NZ when I was 16. My outlook on life has been tampered with in my years here, for the better I should say. I have been responsible enough to put myself through good education, a really good job and upskilling myself with no parental help. I have done pretty good so far...

Now, I am faced with the situation of either a love marriage with all ties broken to all of my family I have know all my life, including my parents or an arranged marriage with a "happily every after" life with my family. Those who are in a similar culture, should know all about the pressures of hooking up with the "same type" of the opposite sex.

Unless you are faced with a situation like this, you will never actually know the weight the above para carries and all the emotions that go with it.

Indians, as a close knit culture, are bought up with certain values, drilled into us from the beginning. I feel at times, that all I will ever want is someone who I can share my life with and make her my sole purpose in life and to hell with family. But then, there are these deep sub-conscious emotions that stop you from doing so.

I am in the process of being "hooked-up" with a suitable candidate back in India and I feel helpless to do anything about it. There are aspects that I like about it and then there are things, that make me wonder. It makes me wonder if I am making a mistake, is this a good idea.. What if I can't fall in love with my wife? Too many what ifs.. Too many unanswered questions.. Can I possibly live with someone I don't love.. I know the answer to that...

You wanna know something really sad, they haven't found a suitable girl for me, but have almost fixed a date for my wedding. Now there is something wrong with this arrangement

I am dying to get out of this chain and I can think of a girl, I would love to propose to, I already know the answer, I think.. But I want the freedom to be able to express myself and just be myself. A lot of you will take this, for granted, wish I had that pleasure to do the same.

I intend to keep this blog updated with my (in)experience of an arranged married. Perhaps, there is a thing or two that you can learn and appreciate from this and may be even help you with your (in)decision.

Until I have more

Momok

EDIT

I found an interesting link, that portrays a different picture and perhaps it is not all downhill..afterall

Click here